What Mama Saw

Flower bud is barely open
Esme smiles at me at the end of her party
But I don't see my Esme smile.
I see a newly minted 6 year old in a backyard in Berkeley
Leave me for Broadway.
She winks at me but I'm not swallowing it.
I am relieved when she winks
I taught her to wink and she's still elegant-clumsy. I hear
the smell of sugary cake on her cheeks.

Three girls earlier, on our basement trapeze
Swung balanced by thin as a pogo stick Chris, who
Stood watching them
a smile on his face feeling
Not left out feeling boy unaware
Yet aware of his boyness among
the leotards pink purple & blue.

"Mama's coming," those two huddled in a corner
suddenly alone.
I touch suspicion, whisper-ask the nearby space station figurines
"What are they doing?"
Suddenly serious they whisper-say,
"They are giggling about underwear."

I will not enjoy this boy's parents as much as the others.
Inshallah she will fall in love with Rashan at 30
her flower tight
but open,
her wink is natural now.